Bipolar Chique

HEY GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



AHHH! If you only knew what i have been doing for the past 2 weeks.. EATING LIKE CRAZY! I feel so discusting and fat. ugh fuck. fuck. fuck. I reactivated my account on here because i seriously need to fucking lose 40 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who wants to join me? I need inspiration and i need friends!!!
Please help me.. i dont know what diet to go on. I want to do a low calorie diet but i dont know what exacly i should do.. girls CAN YOU HELP!?!?!

JOIN ME! Read my journal! I will be posting daily!

<33333

Natasha

ive been anamia fer the past two years . back when i started i was rele commited and lost 2Olbs in two innah half weeks . but fer some reason i cant seem to do it aqain . and i aqined that PLUS more . help .?

hiqht : 5foot 2 .
current weiqht . 16O .
hiqhest weiqht . 17O
lowest weiqht . 135 .
GW : 14O
GW2 : 13O .
GW3 : 12O .

It's been two months since I started this whole raw vegan thing, and almost a year since I've posted to an ana forum... Such epic failure... I got a modeling gig in San Francisco after I come back from Hawaii so it's time to get serious. Discipline. Find it. Nothing cooked, NO ANIMAL PRODUCTS. Especially not cheese, sashimi, or bee products(wait, those are the only ones I eat ;D). I'm making this change! When this bag of raw granola is finished... prolly last til Monday, that's it. I'm fasting... forever. lol... Water, spirulina, and green tea! Nothing else. Cleansing until I get there.

Dear Lord, stats...

hw: 175 *vomit* mostly muscle though...
lw: 114
cw: 170
gw1: 150
ugw(ultimate goal weight): 110

anyone along for the ride?

<3 Mira

It has been so long since Ive posted anything.
Basically I have been busy with college but the stress from it has caused me to gain weight even though its so so easy to avoid food now more than ever but its me thats the problem. I end up binging if I have even a little bit of money, otherwise at home I dont eat much at all.
Anyway, I had 400 calories today from porridge and a banana and 400 calories today from vegetables and 40g of Doritos chilli heat. Im surprise I didnt eat the whole 125g bag so I am happy about that.
I will be here more though, especially since ALL my shows are having a stupid Xmas break, ugh.
x

I'm on day three of my fast. I lost 5 pounds the first two days, which was amazing even though I know it's probably only water weight. Still good though! Hope everyone is doing well too. So I'm at like 139, in four days I think I could be around 130. I haven't been that low in almost nine months. That was before I started gaining weight again. Sometimes I start getting hungry and I want to eat, but I need to just tell myself FOUR DAYS!! I can do it, I can do it, I can do it.

Four days is nothing, right?

If anyone needs anyone to talk to, I'm here.

I've been away for awhile, but I'm back now. ^^ It's good to be back.
This semester has sucked so hard, I'm so ready to just quit life. I'll just sit in my room with the door closed, working on my computer and wait for myself to get thinner.Nothing else I do has worked.
I fell out of my routine and lost all my progress. I'm permanently at 139-141, and I hate it. If I hadn't given up back in July, I'd be at least close to 100 by now. I'm a failure.
I know what I want, I want to be thin. I know what I need. I need to get myself under control again. I need to get back into taking my pills, going on walks [despite the snow], doing my yoga and stretching and working out. When I did all that I was happy. I was getting strong, and I was getting thin. I don't know what to do. I hate my body, it won't do what I want it to. I know what I want and I want it so badly, I don't understand why I can't have just this one thing. I can deal with the iron deficiency and the protein deficiency and the headaches and the constant thirst and the restless sleep, all of it. I could handle all that if I could just have my body be thin. Is it that so much to ask for?
I know I've said all that before, but it's true. That's all I want. Why can't I have that???

Hello to all, it's been a while.

Horrible week. School is hard and I lost my best friend. I don't know why we don't talk anymore, we just don't. I try to call her about it, but she ignores me. I feel like a pathetic stupid idiot, I don't even know what I did. It sucks because she's been in my life since we were four. I don't know what to do without her.

It's funny because last week was good. Really nice and peaceful actually. My therapist said to try to see myself outside of the realm of food and I did for awhile. And I was actually happy for three or four days. Then I freaked out about what I was eating again.

I want to die.

I don't think I have a choice any more. Food is my life. It will always be my life.

I'm starting a two week fast tomorrow. Anyone in?? It'll be fun. ; )

So how does someone avoid being force-fed too much food, a mass of ridiculing people, and 2-3 doctor appointments? By not flying home, that's fucking how. I just wish I could have seen some friends back home, it's so rare to. And of course with my roommates gone it was incredibly lonely here.. but who cares. I'm staying fairly steady around 115 lbs, think I need to work out though, stomach could be tighter. I'm just happy I dodged that Thanksgiving bullet. As a side note, Orlando sucks.